2010 12 25—Blog by Ryan
From http://www.gorowryan.blogspot.com/
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
-Mark Twain-
As my departure nears and I've said goodbye to most of my friends I'm embracing my last couple days with family. The frenzy of email communication between the crew has slowed as we all prepare ourselves mentally and emotionally for departure. This "throwing off of the bowlines" is easier for some than other I am sure. I have had moments of anxiety, a couple creepy dreams, and plenty of times when I stopped myself from thinking about all the bad things out of my control that could possibly happen. We've recently lost one crew member who was hit by a sliding car while walking to the store (lost form the crew, not life). She broke her wrist, an injury just bad enough that she has no choice but to forgo the expedition and while our hearts go out to Anne, it's reminded the rest of us what a fragile balance we walk. This re-affirms my fears and is the reason I've not done much mountain biking or other 'high risk' activities. But truth be told I do realize the most dangerous thing I could do, besides row across an ocean or something, is to drive a car. It's the simple living of our everyday lives that hold lots of possibilities for danger.
At this point anxious anticipation had drowned out my fears and the only negative emotions still pulling on me are those of separation. This attitude carries an air of fatalism, even if it's just my anticipation of longing. I've settled my estate, and mostly cleaned up my room and other effects just in case. Truth be told that leaving some things on my to-do list actually makes me feel better; drawing me away from thinking in such final capacities as they give me something to anticipate beyond this most immediate adventure. I will be happy as a mouse in a cheese factory when I return but for now I'm just looking forward to finally getting on with this trip.
Small bonus, I made the front page of the sports section:
http://www.timesfreepress.com/news/2010/dec/22/local-rower-set-cross-atlantic/
-Mark Twain-
As my departure nears and I've said goodbye to most of my friends I'm embracing my last couple days with family. The frenzy of email communication between the crew has slowed as we all prepare ourselves mentally and emotionally for departure. This "throwing off of the bowlines" is easier for some than other I am sure. I have had moments of anxiety, a couple creepy dreams, and plenty of times when I stopped myself from thinking about all the bad things out of my control that could possibly happen. We've recently lost one crew member who was hit by a sliding car while walking to the store (lost form the crew, not life). She broke her wrist, an injury just bad enough that she has no choice but to forgo the expedition and while our hearts go out to Anne, it's reminded the rest of us what a fragile balance we walk. This re-affirms my fears and is the reason I've not done much mountain biking or other 'high risk' activities. But truth be told I do realize the most dangerous thing I could do, besides row across an ocean or something, is to drive a car. It's the simple living of our everyday lives that hold lots of possibilities for danger.
At this point anxious anticipation had drowned out my fears and the only negative emotions still pulling on me are those of separation. This attitude carries an air of fatalism, even if it's just my anticipation of longing. I've settled my estate, and mostly cleaned up my room and other effects just in case. Truth be told that leaving some things on my to-do list actually makes me feel better; drawing me away from thinking in such final capacities as they give me something to anticipate beyond this most immediate adventure. I will be happy as a mouse in a cheese factory when I return but for now I'm just looking forward to finally getting on with this trip.
Small bonus, I made the front page of the sports section:
http://www.timesfreepress.com/news/2010/dec/22/local-rower-set-cross-atlantic/
Hey Ryan, You are rowing with Steve and Nigel, my husband and my son. Steve needs to return to his safe harbor so that I can tie him up with bowlines (and he needs to look after his chickens) so the trade winds will carry all of you safely to Barbados. Cheers, janet
ReplyDeleteRyan we love you and are praying for ALL of you. Go Row your heart out! You will do this! After all you lived through the "training" your Grandpa Worth gave you when you were little you got this in the bag!
ReplyDeleteGod Speed!
Aunt Jen